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The over 2-pound Madagascar schnitzel occupies nearly half the width of a table at XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim, Germany on March 18, 2024.

The over 2-pound Madagascar schnitzel occupies nearly half the width of a table at XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim, Germany on March 18, 2024. (Bradley Latham/Stars and Stripes)

Friends, family and colleagues have always told me I eat a lot. Some of them have gone so far as to accuse me of having a hollow leg.

About four years ago, a few of my German friends told me about XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim and its monstrous portions of food that would put most American eateries to shame.

I never had the opportunity to visit before leaving Germany, so when an old Army friend called me up for our first dinner together since moving back recently, I had the perfect place in mind.

About 20 minutes from Wiesbaden and tucked away in a wooded area, Waldgeist has a welcoming atmosphere, with its large wooden beams and rustic decor.

It was surprisingly busy for a Monday night. My friend and I were promptly seated in a cozy booth, surrounded by laughter, merriment and lively conversation.

When handed our menus, we immediately jumped to the XXXXXL section. We both laughed at options ranging from colossal hamburgers to steak that topped the scale at over two and a half pounds.

The massive portions didn’t stop with food; most of the beverages were offered in sizes up to 2 liters. That’s nearly a six pack of 12-ounce cans for you folks that don’t drink in metric.

A 2-liter cola sits next to a 1-liter drink at XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim, Germany, on March 18, 2024.

A 2-liter cola sits next to a 1-liter drink at XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim, Germany, on March 18, 2024. (Bradley Latham/Stars and Stripes)

My friend ordered the XXXXXL hamburger and a 1-liter drink. I was tempted by the 600-gram currywurst but felt it wasn’t quite big enough for the night’s festivities and opted for the kilogram (2.2-pound) schnitzel with peppercorn cream sauce and fries, along with a 2-liter cola.

Again, we couldn’t stop laughing as our waitress plopped down my mug of cola on top of three normal-sized coasters. It dwarfed my friend’s large drink and I struggled to lift the mug with one hand for a toast.

As we gawked at the foot-wide burger and the behemoth slabs of breaded pork, we began to think our food would be more gimmick than quality. Our skepticism melted away at the first bite.

The XXXXXL Burger, which is about a foot wide, is served with a large bread knife at XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim, Germany, on March 18, 2024.

The XXXXXL Burger, which is about a foot wide, is served with a large bread knife at XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim, Germany, on March 18, 2024. (Bradley Latham/Stars and Stripes)

The burger was well-seasoned and full of flavor. Though my friend said the burger patty was slightly dry, he complimented the proportional condiments and toppings that very easily included an entire sliced tomato.

My schnitzel, though not the best I’ve had in Germany, was crispy on the outside and delightfully tender and moist on the inside from start to finish, as I powered through the gastronomic battle. The fries certainly played second fiddle to the schnitzel but were perfectly crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside and lightly salted, with no grease.

My only complaint was that there wasn’t nearly enough sauce to accompany the meat, but you can keep the sauce flowing for an additional few euros per bowl.

Try as I might, I wasn’t able to finish the entire entrée. I took about a half-pound of meat and fries home — perhaps the 2 liters of diet cola was enough spectacle for the night.

The mandarin cheesecake is one of the rotating desserts on the menu at XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim on March 18, 2024.

The mandarin cheesecake is one of the rotating desserts on the menu at XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim on March 18, 2024. (Bradley Latham/Stars and Stripes)

Bewildering my friend, I ordered a lovely, normally portioned slice of mandarin cheesecake for dessert while we reflected on a story told by our server earlier that evening.

About a year ago, an American named Randy took on the challenge of the Koenigsplatte, or King’s Plate. He set a new restaurant record by downing 3 kilograms (6.5 pounds) of schnitzel with fries. I still can’t conjure a mental image of what a mountain of meat that size possibly looked like.

For those bold enough to try, breaking the current record will earn you a free 67-euro meal.

Waldgeist also offers normal human sizes of meals for guests who want a traditional dining experience.

My waistline certainly can’t afford regular XXXXXL visits to Waldgeist, but I would gladly return for an office dinner or celebration with friends.

And wherever you are, King Randy, I tip my hat to you.

XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim promotes their XXXXXL menu with oversized entrees for patrons with enormous appetites.

XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim promotes their XXXXXL menu with oversized entrees for patrons with enormous appetites. (Bradley Latham/Stars and Stripes)

XXL Restaurant Waldgeist Hofheim

Address: Schlossstrasse 70, Hofheim am Taunus

Hours: Monday through Sunday, noon.-10 p.m. Reservations recommended.

Prices: 20-30 euros per person. XXXXXL Menu, 40-60 euros per person. Cash or PayPal only, no cards accepted.

Information: Phone: +49 6192 38 385; Online: derwaldgeist.de

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