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Knott’s Scary Farm in Buena Park, Calif., celebrates its 50th anniversary this year.

Knott’s Scary Farm in Buena Park, Calif., celebrates its 50th anniversary this year. (Knott’s Berry Farms)

SANTA ANA, Calif. — This humble newbie gets a front-row seat to an amazing spectacle unlike any other in Calico Ghost Town as Knott’s Scary Farm celebrates its 50th anniversary this Halloween season.

It’s been a lifelong dream to work alongside the undead monsters who roam the streets of Calico Ghost Town during Knott’s Scary Farm with a shared single-minded mission: Scare the living daylights out of anyone who dares wander into the fog.

I’m finally going to get my chance to suit up with the Ghost Town monsters this Halloween — but first I had to make it through Scare School at the Buena Park theme park.

The Ghost Town Streets scare zone is the premier playground of Knott’s Scary Farm monsters and the birthplace of the annual event that celebrates its 50th anniversary this Halloween season.

If you can make it in Ghost Town, you’ve reached the pinnacle of Scary Farm monsterdom.

The best of the best Ghost Town monsters are part of the Slider Crew who glide across the pavement on their hands and knees like demonic hockey pucks across an ice rink.

If you’ve been to Scary Farm, then a slider monster needs no explanation. The image is etched in your memory like fingernails across a chalkboard.

For the uninitiated, sliders are the most terrifying part of Knott’s Scary Farm. A monster runs at full speed, leaps in the air, lands on all fours and slides toward you. Sparks arc from their hands and toes in the darkness. And then they stop on a dime a few feet in front of you.

There’s really no need for them to scare you after that. You’ve already jumped out of your skin leaving your skeleton shivering in fear.

Watching slider certification in front of the Bird Cage Theater during Scare School was a jaw-dropping memory I will never forget.

Warmups started with 50 monsters sliding every which way across the plaza in front of the theater without running into each other. The grating noise of plastic and metal scraping across the cement sounded like dozens of mufflers dragging along the street. What might be a symphony of terror for many was the sweet sound of Halloween for me.

This was Knott’s Scary Farm royalty. The kings and queens of Ghost Town Streets. All lined up in front of the Overland Gunshop for slider certification — and to put on a show unlike any other.

One by one, the sliders raced toward the Knott’s certification team standing solitary in the dark. The test was to get close — but not too close. Bump into one of the judges and your sliding privileges would be revoked for the year before the Halloween season even began. After three passes, all 50 sliders received certification. To say the least, I won’t be among the sliders menacing the Ghost Town Streets this Halloween.

Scare zone performers hold the top spot in the Scary Farm pecking order followed by the hero roles in the haunted mazes, the ensemble characters and the repetitive positions in the labyrinth hallways. Those who don’t make the cut as monsters during auditions serve as blackout guides inside the mazes or line control ushers in the queues — with hopes of making it to the show next year.

My Scare School experience turned out to be equal parts orientation, education, certification and reunion.

The Ghost Town monsters gathered in a backstage parking lot behind the Bird Cage Theater on a recent cool night under a waning crescent moon. Many were returning for another year in the fog. Some were moving up to the top echelon. The most experienced savored the rare opportunity that only comes around once a year every September and October.

The smell of musty year-old body odor permeated the collection of 80 monsters as they cracked open the rolling Haunt Boxes that carried their scare gear — most of which had not been laundered since last Halloween.

The orientation portion of the 5-hour Scare School began with a rundown of rules — both old and new.

Most of the new rules this year involved posing for photos with visitors. There were do’s and don’ts about inappropriate poses, tips for keeping interactions meaningful but brief and admonishments about staying in character. Monsters from the 1880s don’t have Instagram accounts — so don’t ask visitors to tag you on social media.

Safety is always a top priority at Knott’s and the well-being of the monsters the chief concern during Scary Farm.

Not everyone reacts well to being scared — even if they are paying for the privilege. Some visitors have too much to drink and get carried away in the moment. Others take offense and want to fight. Stories of monsters getting punched, kicked and clawed abound. Security is always on hand to deal with any troublemakers.

Safety is always a top priority at Knott’s and the well-being of the monsters the chief concern during Scary Farm, since not everyone reacts well to being scared. New this year, visitors wearing No Boo lanyards will be off-limits to scares.

Safety is always a top priority at Knott’s and the well-being of the monsters the chief concern during Scary Farm, since not everyone reacts well to being scared. New this year, visitors wearing No Boo lanyards will be off-limits to scares. (Knott’s Berry Farms)

Gauging the well-being of a monster wearing a mask in the dark can be difficult. Knott’s supervisors have developed hand signals to assess monster safety. A thumbs-up means everything is fine. Crossed arms indicates you need help. A closed fist signals a non-emergency situation that could use some assistance.

The biggest new rule of this Halloween season involved the bewailed No Boo lanyard. When illuminated, the blue medallion with a spider on a web makes visitors off-limits to scares — which drew a round of boos from the assembled monsters. The best advice to “scareactors” who see the No Boo necklace: Just get out of there. Don’t apologize. Don’t antagonize. Stay in character. And find somebody else to scare.

After getting into their costumes, the Ghost Town monsters went through a lineup inspection where supervisors analyzed each look with a fine-toothed comb.

The vast majority of the Ghost Town monsters craft their own costumes and develop their own characters with supervisor approval. Backstories, gags and catchphrases also need to be reviewed.

The goal of any Scary Farm costume is to cover as much humanity as possible — visible hands, ears and skin are frowned upon.

The chief concern during inspection was the newness of the costumes. Bright and shiny accessories needed to be dulled down. New shirts dirtied up. Logos on gloves blacked out. Sharp points on horns rounded off. Freshly applied cobwebs run through the wash a few times — preferably with a new pair of blue jeans. In short, everything had to be dustier, dingier and drearier.

Comfort is a top priority when you’re haunting the Calico streets for hours on end.

Monsters in masks wear their prosthetics for two nights in a row. Those who sweat a lot can switch masks every night.

Sliders don skateboarder knee pads and gloves with metal fingertips and steel pads on their palms.

After the inspection, the monsters were led around Ghost Town to review the boundaries of the scare zone — to avoid spilling over into other storylines. The park is filled with invisible lines that monsters can’t cross — providing relative safety to otherwise unaware visitors trying to escape.

No-go areas for monsters included shops, restaurants, outdoor dining tables, queues and mazes.

I missed out on the audition portion of the Knott’s Scary Farm monster onboarding process — which meant I didn’t get a chance to develop my character and look.

My signature look ended up being fairly generic Army of the Dead. I was issued the standard ensemble costume worn by newbies — black chino pants, long-sleeved collared shirt and a vest — all distressed with dyes and covered in cobweb-like scare cloth. I finished off the look with a floppy cowboy hat.

I spent the night looking more like a hobo than a Ghost Town monster. I won’t get into makeup until the night of my big debut — during associate previews before the official kickoff of Knott’s Scary Farm.

I was nervous when Knott’s Scary Farm event manager Pasta Berkey had our group of monsters split into two rows and line up opposite each other in front of the old-school house on the edge of Ghost Town. Our first task: Develop a distinctive walk that personified each of our characters as the two rows lumbered past each other. Each subsequent pass Berkey asked us to introduce another layer of character — hand movements, scare techniques and snarl sounds.

My problem was I hadn’t developed my character yet. That had been covered during the audition process that I missed. I panicked and went with what I knew.

I decided on the spot that my character would be an old newspaper reporter asking a bunch of questions and taking a lot of notes. I would have a bad back and bum knees. It wasn’t hard for me to get into character.

To my surprise, Berkey loved the idea and helped me build out my role and adapt it to our Ghost Town setting. I would be a reporter from the Calico Gazette who was covering the witch trial of Sarah Marshall when she transformed into the Green Witch and cast an evil spell over the townspeople that turned them into a horde of monsters.

Orange County Register theme park reporter Brady MacDonald, left, and Ghost Town “scareactor” David Villalobos attend Scare School at Knott’s Berry Farm in Buena Park, Calif. MacDonald decided to make his character an old newspaper reporter.

Orange County Register theme park reporter Brady MacDonald, left, and Ghost Town “scareactor” David Villalobos attend Scare School at Knott’s Berry Farm in Buena Park, Calif. MacDonald decided to make his character an old newspaper reporter. (Brady MacDonald, Orange County Register, SCNG/TNS)

“You can be a crazy reporter,” Berkey said. “Because you didn’t want to be cursed. You just so happen to get wrapped up in it.”

I naturally had a lot of questions. Where is Sarah Marshall? Have you seen the Green Witch? Can you help me find the sheriff?

“You’re trying to find answers. Why is this happening? How did this happen?” Berkey said. “You’re always searching. Looking around at all the chaos.”

Berkey recommended I carry a leather-bound notebook as a prop that I could snap shut at visitors who got too curious about what I’d learned in my reporting.

“You can even pretend like you forgot how to speak,” Berkey said. “So you can mumble and then have a bout of clarity.”

With my Scare School training complete, there was only one question left to answer: How would I hold up as a Ghost Town monster during associate previews? We will soon find out if I have what it takes to work alongside the best in the business.

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