Sgt. 1st Class Tony Hillig, left, a platoon sergeant for Troop A, 6th Squadron, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade at Forward Operating Base Falcon, Iraq, questions two Iraqi men during a patrol in a rural village south of Baghdad. (Vince Little / S&S)
Sgt. 1st Class Tony Hillig, left, a platoon sergeant for Troop A, 6th Squadron, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade at Forward Operating Base Falcon, Iraq, questions two Iraqi men during a patrol in a rural village south of Baghdad. (Vince Little / S&S)
Soldiers from the 1st Squadron, 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment out of Fort Irwin, Calif., secure a busy street in northeast Baghdad earlier this month during a vehicle search. (Vince Little / S&S)
FORWARD OPERATING BASE FALCON, Iraq — Sgt. Kevin Niebuhr, a chaplain’s assistant with the Army’s Headquarters Troop, 6th Squadron, 8th Cavalry Regiment, has always told soldiers they might not want to burden spouses and family members with all the gritty details of their time in Iraq.
But Niebuhr, an ex-Marine, didn’t always practice what he preached.
“It’s easy to give that advice, but doing it can be rough,” said Niebuhr of Sun Prairie, Wis., whose wife is stationed at Yongsan Garrison, South Korea, with the couple’s newborn.
When the unit arrived at Falcon, Niebuhr told her all about the roadside bombs, mortar rounds and controlled detonations that come with life in Iraq.
“She freaked,” he said. “I now tell her that everything is quiet, but I think she can see through it sometimes. It’s made me realize that the advice I give to everyone else is pretty darn good.”
Niebuhr and others in the chaplain community constantly deal with the issue, which can be a moral dilemma for many soldiers. The desire to share experiences with spouses is a natural inclination, he said.
“From the religious side of the house, I say there’s things you want to tell your wife — and others you don’t,” Niebuhr said. “That can be hard at first, especially for the new guys who are over here for the first time.”
Some soldiers are able to ride along on humanitarian missions, aimed strictly at assisting the Iraqi people through reconstruction efforts. Those are great tales for loved ones back home, he said.
Other troops, however, are consistently assigned more grim tasks, always taking part in risky patrols, scouting missions, the apprehension of terror suspects and interrogations.
“Pick and choose what you talk to your wife and kids about. These soldiers have good and bad days. When they have good news, I tell them to share that with their wives. When you’ve got days you can really open up, go for it.”
Those negative incidents still need an outlet, though.
“You’ve got to get it out of your system,” he said. “Find ways to vent with your buddies. As a chaplain, I go around and talk to the soldiers to make sure they don’t bottle this stuff up. I’m always looking for that one guy who comes back from a mission and immediately locks himself away to PlayStation.”
