Mission readiness starts at home: Modernizing the au pair program for military families

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Matthew Smith is a seventh-generation Texan and an au pair host dad through Cultural Care Au Pair.

I am a seventh-generation Texan and a former Marine Corps infantry officer. For the past three years I’ve held an additional title — au pair host parent. I’ve seen how the au pair program — at its core a cultural exchange opportunity — quietly strengthens American families, especially those who serve.

Before my family’s own experience, I had never heard of the program, outside of maybe a misguided perception of it as something only for the upper crust. Through friends, we learned that economies of scale can make it more affordable for families with multiple children than traditional day care, especially as nearly 200,000 Texan children with working parents live in child care deserts.

Contrary to some misconceptions, hosting an au pair can help a variety of families access much-needed child care. But the au pair program is much more than just child care. When they are welcomed into American families’ homes, au pairs become a part of your family, joining you at your dinner table, on trips, and throughout the seasons of life.

Regulated by the Department of State, the au pair program allows American families to welcome young people from abroad into their homes. In return for up to 45 hours of flexible child care support per week, host families are required to provide au pairs with room and board, a weekly stipend, and support for courses at U.S. college.

During my time as a platoon commander and company XO in the Marine Corps Infantry, I saw too many Marines and their families struggle with child care. Unreliable day care, deployment schedules, and last-minute duty changes created constant stress — and continue to be among the top stressors for military families nationwide. The program’s flexibility — with a trusted caregiver living in your home who can adjust hours for unexpected duty, night training, or family emergencies — would have given those Marines and their families peace of mind. Beyond that, it would have provided support during quiet losses on the home front, such as divorce or suicide — one of the most underdiscussed hardships of military life. Mission readiness truly does start at home.

Nearly 40 years ago, the au pair cultural exchange program was initiated by the State Department to project American soft power. It was an immediate success, especially for many members of our military. Today, nearly one in eight American families hosting an au pair are connected to the military.

Beyond the clear benefits of trusted child care and for U.S. diplomatic efforts, the au pair program develops better global citizens. Families can choose to match with an au pair who speaks another language, giving their children real cultural immersion and bilingual skills. In a world that often criticizes Americans for being insular, this creates young people who are more competitive and culturally aware on the global stage.

The interpersonal exchange runs both ways. Our first au pair from Italy joined us right before our second child was born. My wife’s mentorship — both professional and personal — inspired her to become a labor and delivery nurse back home. Our second au pair fell in love with country and western dancing and is trying to visit every national park. These young people return to their countries with a richer view of who we are and often with new skills. That’s real diplomacy.

Congress should protect this nationally significant cultural exchange from state infringement. I traveled to Washington, D.C., to speak with members of Texas’ congressional delegation and shed light on just how transformational the au pair program is for American families. I am proud that Texas Rep. Lance Gooden is leading the effort to change the law to ensure it can continue to be a solution for military families. I thank him and other members of Congress who have taken action to protect and expand access to the au pair cultural exchange program.

All Texas representatives should support Rep. Gooden’s efforts to get military families additional support — ensuring that the program can be a meaningful child care solution for more families. Protecting the au pair program protects Texas families and America’s soft power.