‘Here for a good time, not a long time’

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Marie Brandon, BSN, RN, is a Certified Grief Educator.

Jacob Douglas Robert Brandon — the boy with four first names. To his friends, he was Jake. To his country, he was Corporal Brandon — a proud and decorated U.S. Marine. But to me, he will always be Jacob, my little man.

And my little man was a hero, both in life and in death.

Jacob was a sweet, lovable goofball with a huge heart and an infectious laugh. He loved video games, his sisters, and beating me at board games. At 6 feet tall, he gave the best bear hugs with a big squeeze and a “Love you, mama.” After completing three deployments and four years in the Marines, he was home attending college, working part time, and had his whole life ahead of him.

But after April 30, 2023, I would never get another “Love you, mama” from him again.

That morning, Jacob was in a motorcycle accident. He was taken to UCI Medical Center in Orange, Calif. — the same hospital where I work as a neonatal ICU nurse. I rushed there, waiting for good news that never came. They couldn’t save him.

I wasn’t surprised to learn Jacob was a registered organ donor. He was the first to offer help to anyone. As a nurse, I know we do everything in our power to save our patients. When that is no longer enough, it can feel impossible to think beyond the tragedy. Because Jacob registered, I didn’t have to think about that decision in a time of immense pain and shock.

OneLegacy, the organ procurement organization, carried out Jacob’s donation of both eyes, a heart valve, two major veins, and 127 bone, tissue and skin grafts — gifting sight to two people and healing 132 lives.

Jacob’s interest in the military began at 10 years old, though he was torn between the Army like his grandfather or the Air Force like his uncle and godfather. After a recruitment drive at his high school, he knew he wanted to be a Marine. At only 17, he presented his father and me with a packet of information and a very thought-out decision that would shape him into the man he became.

As a mom, I was terrified for his safety. But as a Marine mom, I am so proud of his decision to serve his country. Seeing Jacob at his graduation at Camp Pendleton, Calif., I was in awe not only of his passion, but of his accomplishments as a platoon leader and rifle expert. But even after four years, Jacob stayed humble, never comfortable with being praised and thanked for his service. He never thought of it as a sacrifice, it was his duty.

The death of your own child is a pain like no other; it goes against the natural order of life. No amount of time could have prepared me to say goodbye. I stood in disbelief as I watched my child — the boy who once fit in my arms, the young man with so much more to offer this world — disappear down the corridor, an American flag draped over him.

But there is a bit of comfort in knowing Jacob’s final act was as selfless and impactful as he lived his life.

Because Jacob was a donor, OneLegacy introduced our family to a community I never knew existed. Nationwide, similar organizations support donor families and honor their loved ones through remembrance events, appreciation cards, and volunteer opportunities.

They also gave me something I never imagined I would have: an EKG strip capturing my son’s final heartbeat. Received more than 18 months after his death, it’s a gift so treasured that I have it tattooed on my arm — a reminder not only of Jacob, but of the care and humanity shown to my family long after he passed.

Our journey came full circle when, in November 2024, I received donor tissue during my own surgery. Because of that gift, I’m able to walk, return to nursing, and be present with my daughters. Someone’s loved one made that possible.

Today, as a OneLegacy ambassador, I have the privilege of sharing Jacob’s story to not only honor him, but also help educate the community, dispel myths, and inspire more people to say “yes” to donation.

To all the service men and women out there: as a military mom, I know the risks you take every day. That’s why it’s so important for us all to discuss our final wishes while we can.

This Memorial Day, I hope you’ll join Jacob in his final act of service by registering to be a donor at organdonor.gov and sharing your decision with your loved ones.

Jacob lived his life with a generous heart. His final act was no different. I can still hear his favorite saying, his voice in my head:

“Here for a good time, not a long time.”

My son made his short 22 years good, leaving a legacy of laughter and love.