Military appreciation requires more than thanks

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Kathleen T. Jabs, a retired U.S. Navy captain, is special assistant to the president for military and veteran affairs at William & Mary. She previously served as acting secretary of Veterans and Defense Affairs for the Commonwealth of Virginia.

Military Appreciation Month arrives each May with familiar and heartfelt rituals. We recognize and thank those who wear the uniform at ballgames, airports, classrooms, and ceremonies across the country. Gratitude matters. But when appreciation begins and ends with applause, it becomes performance, not policy.

Less than 1% of Americans now serve in the military. Their spouses, children and families are not counted in that figure, yet they carry many of the burdens of service. They absorb repeated moves, interrupted careers, child care gaps, long separations, and the uncertainty that comes with deployments and national crises.

Today’s global operational demands make this clear. The USS Gerald R. Ford recently completed a record 309-day deployment at sea. At home, families adjusted to shifting timelines, missed milestones, and the daily realities of prolonged absence. A strong military requires families that are supported, stable, and able to thrive.

This is not a new lesson. As the nation approaches its 250th anniversary, it is worth remembering that military families have always stood alongside those who serve.

Before the Declaration of Independence was signed, the Continental Army, Navy, and Marine Corps were already formed. As soldiers marched, many families followed. Some out of necessity. Others out of devotion. They cooked, repaired uniforms, cared for the sick, and brought order to chaos.

Even George Washington’s view evolved. What began as concern over logistics became recognition of the value military spouses provided. Martha Washington herself spent long stretches of the war in army encampments, offering support and fostering morale. Washington saw that military spouses sustained the force in ways that made combat possible. He understood readiness depended not only on soldiers, but on families.

That remains true today.

American military power is often measured in ships, aircraft, weapons systems, and technology. Those assets matter. But no advantage endures without people willing to serve. People serve more readily when their families can thrive.

Military spouses remain among the most adaptable workers in the country. They build careers through relocations, re-enter labor markets after permanent change-of-station moves, lead households during deployments, and contribute to communities wherever they land. Yet military spouses continue to face unemployment rates above 20%. Underemployment is even harder to measure. Professional licenses often fail to transfer across state lines. Child care remains difficult to secure. Networks built in one place disappear with the next set of orders.

These are not private inconveniences. They are national readiness issues that directly affect recruiting, retention, and force stability.

When families struggle, retention declines. Recruiting becomes harder. Financial stress rises. Talented service members decide they can no longer ask their spouses and children to bear the cost. Supporting military families is not charity. It is a strategic investment in the all-volunteer force.

Real appreciation shows up in decisions. Employers recruit military spouses for their resilience and skill. States remove barriers to professional licensing. Colleges and universities build flexible pathways that reflect mobile lives and create career networks for military-connected students and spouses. Communities invest in military families as neighbors, not temporary residents.

It also requires broadening our understanding of service itself. Consider the spouse who pauses a career to move across the country. The parent who manages a household during deployment. The child who changes schools again and again. The family member who helps a veteran transition home. Their contributions may not come with medals or ceremonies, but they are part of the same national commitment.

As America marks Military Appreciation Month and prepares to celebrate its 250th birthday, the country has an opportunity to move beyond symbolic thanks.

The men and women who wear the uniform deserve our respect. The families who make that service possible deserve our support.

If we truly appreciate military service, we prove it not in what we say, but in what we sustain — for those who serve and for those who serve beside them.