J.K. Rowling has terrible timing.

Just after an untold number of soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines settled on dressing as Dumbledore for their units’ Halloween hullabaloo, she tells the world the wizened wizard is as gay as a handbag full of rainbows.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But if you don’t want the don’t-ask-don’t-tell alarm to go off as you’re bobbing for apples with your warrior pals, it’s probably best to ditch the Dumbledore get-up.

With that idea scratched, what’s a troop to wear?

No worries. You aren’t the first person left without a costume on the biggest dress-up day of the year.

“It was Halloween morning,” Matt Acome, a Mannheim High School senior, recalled as an icy breeze blew across the post exchange parking lot Sunday. His eyes shifted as he recalled the events of Halloween 2006. “And it was a school day,” he continued ominously.

As he rolled out of bed, Acome realized he had no costume. Other kids were sure to dress up, he said. They always did.

What to do? He dug through his wardrobe looking for anything that might pass for a costume. “When you look around, you see what you have and ideas start popping into your head,” he said.

He found some black pants, a black shirt and some goggles.

“I had enough to look like a crazy anarchist guy,” he said. Acome strode around all day shouting “Anarchy!” on occasion to ensure no one missed his costume’s intent.

Cyrus and Mateo Caovo had no trouble being recognized for what they were last Halloween, though their costumes almost didn’t happen.

Trick-or-treating was just hours away, and neither twin — now 5 years old — had a costume, said their dad, Josh Caovo. He scoured the house for ideas, stumbled upon an old blanket and a light bulb went off.

“You know the movie ‘Kickboxer,’ with Jean-Claude Van Damme?” Caovo said. That was his inspiration. He tore up the blanket, wrapped his sons’ wrists and legs in material and painted their faces to add an extra touch of authenticity.

“People thought they were really Muay Thai kickboxers,” Caovo said.

Sarah Ostendorf took a similarly crafty tack when she and her husband realized they had a costume party to go to, but no costumes. They tore felt into strips and attached it around the hoods of sweat shirts using scrapbooking pins. They cut off the tips of socks and pinned them on the hoods as ears. Voila: lions.

“It was pretty good,” Ostendorf said. But then — except for a couple in their pajamas — no one else at the party dressed up.

There are less-lazy solutions for those unwilling to admit they’re ugly enough to trick-or-treat without a costume.

“We’re going to be a dead couple,” said Sarah Else, who discussed costumes Sunday morning with her husband, Jacob. “That way we can wear anything and just paint our faces white.”

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