Matthew BolaYear: 12th gradeAge: 17School: Kadena High SchoolPlaces lived: Norfolk Va.; Rota, Spain; Summerville S.C.; Chesapeake, Va.; and Okinawa, JapanFavorite assignment: Okinawa, JapanWhat is your favorite keepsake or souvenir? An hourglass from Spain that my sister gave me for my eighth birthday.Plans for the future: Next year I will begin my freshman year of college at Florida State University, and I plan to pursue a degree in International Relations.

My father has been in the Navy since before I was born, so the military has always had a strong presence in my life. It has given me the opportunity to live in a foreign land, changing my life drastically. Being a dependent has opened up the world to me, but with it comes sacrifices.

Shortly after my family arrived on Okinawa in August of 2005, it became apparent that there would be costs for living overseas. Within the first few days, my parents sat me down and explained that not only would my actions on and off base affect me, but also they would directly affect my father’s job. If I made mistakes or caused any trouble, my parents said, my father would have to report it to his chain of command. It could jeopardize my father’s standing at work, they warned.

At first I thought this was just the idea of a military joke: What do you do to angst-filled teenagers? You put them in a small-town society and tell them that everyone actually is watching, observing and scrutinizing their every move, both on and off base.

Bases are small and everyone knows everyone else’s business. And word spreads fast, which can be stifling to many people who are not used to such constant and thorough observations from others. The implications of these new regulations soon sank in and I understood the gravity of my actions, not only on myself, but also on my family.

There are stories of parents having to report to their chain of command for things as miniscule as a speeding or a parking ticket that their dependent received. I also heard of families getting sent back to the States or kicked off base for the mistakes or problems caused by their children. Most young dependents know the wide-ranging effects their actions have, and carry that burden each day. The key to living with this weight overseas is not only to simply stay out of trouble, but also to consciously go about your life making decisions that will not only keep distress and grief out of your life, but also bring praise and peace in. Living overseas can change your life in incredible ways, if you keep the right attitude and make intelligent decisions.

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