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The bright blue design on the exterior of Gourmet Tempel restaurant in Kaiserslautern, Germany, offers a hint of the decadent setting inside.

The bright blue design on the exterior of Gourmet Tempel restaurant in Kaiserslautern, Germany, offers a hint of the decadent setting inside. (Gregory Broome/Stars and Stripes)

The bright blue design on the exterior of Gourmet Tempel restaurant in Kaiserslautern, Germany, offers a hint of the decadent setting inside.

The bright blue design on the exterior of Gourmet Tempel restaurant in Kaiserslautern, Germany, offers a hint of the decadent setting inside. (Gregory Broome/Stars and Stripes)

The glass and gold doors at the entrance to Gourmet Tempel welcome diners into the ornate eatery.

The glass and gold doors at the entrance to Gourmet Tempel welcome diners into the ornate eatery. (Gregory Broome/Stars and Stripes)

Gourmet Tempel in Kaiserslautern, Germany, features dozens of tables and booths in a sprawling dining room.

Gourmet Tempel in Kaiserslautern, Germany, features dozens of tables and booths in a sprawling dining room. (Gregory Broome/Stars and Stripes)

A generous collection of sushi is presented as part of the Asian buffet at Gourmet Tempel.

A generous collection of sushi is presented as part of the Asian buffet at Gourmet Tempel. (Gregory Broome/Stars and Stripes)

A heaping portion of items from the buffet reaches a table at Gourmet Tempel restaurant in Kaiserslautern, Germany.

A heaping portion of items from the buffet reaches a table at Gourmet Tempel restaurant in Kaiserslautern, Germany. (Gregory Broome/Stars and Stripes)

A futon in a five-star hotel room.

A station wagon spinning on a glistening showroom floor.

A Hot Pocket served on fine china.

A tourist information office housed in a stunning medieval castle.

And the buffet at Gourmet Tempel restaurant in Kaiserslautern, Germany.

The above things all have a feature in common. They are unremarkable, mundane things presented in disproportionately ornate packaging.

This is not meant as a criticism. I don’t mind a splash of unexpected glamour as I go about the routines of my life. I’ve eaten a Hot Pocket on a futon, and it was a perfectly enjoyable experience, but it would have been better had I eaten it off of fine china in a five-star hotel room.

Similarly, the standard noodles and meats offered at Gourmet Tempel are enhanced by the glittering atmosphere. The lobby of the restaurant looks and feels like the office of a successful 1970s real estate magnate with a profitable side business in cocaine trafficking. There’s gold and leather and marble tile, all arranged under a chandelier so bright it barely registered in the photos I snapped. You can’t even see the buffet from here.

To find it, swing a left at the enormous print of Vincent van Gogh’s “The Starry Night” and walk down the long run of red carpet. You’ll pass a central dining room enclosed in glass, draped in white curtains and crowded with bright blue chairs surrounding tables evocative of elegant vases. At the end of this journey you’ll discover the metal pans with the egg rolls.

Luckily, Gourmet Tempel knows that we haven’t all yet made our fortunes in real estate and/or the international drug trade, so the prices are reasonable. The standard weekday lunch buffet features some quality seafood, sushi and desserts alongside the familiar staples, and it’s the restaurant’s best value at 8.90 euros ($10) per person. That’s a fair price for the chance to pretend to be an extra on the set of the movie “Scarface” visiting the craft services table.

broome.gregory@stripes.com Twitter: @broomestripes

Gourmet Tempel

Directions: The restaurant is located at Mainzerstrasse 28 in Kaiserslautern. From Autobahn 6, exit at Dreieck Kaiserslautern and follow Mainzerstrasse in the direction of downtown; Gourmet Tempel is on the left across from Hornbach.

Hours: 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. and 5:30 to 11:30 p.m., Monday through Saturday; straight through from 11:30 a.m. to 11:30 p.m. on Sunday.

Prices: Start at 8.90 euros ($10) per adult or 4.90 euros per child up to age 11 for the weekday lunch buffet and go as high as 16.90 euros for adults and 10.90 euros for children for the weekend dinner buffet.

Information: (+49) (0) 631-414-17575; gourmet-tempel-kl.de.

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