“No hands in pockets” is one of the more consistently complained about rules for troops, and today the fake military news website, The Duffle Blog, has taken aim at it.
The blog, which is like a military version of The Onion, parodied the Army’s top enlisted man, Sgt. Maj. of the Army Raymond F. Chandler III, with a fake opinion piece in response to a real petition filed on the White House’s website to allow troops to put their hands in their pockets.
The satire was titled: “Putting Your Hands In Your Pockets Will Get You Killed.”
The fake piece included lines like this: “I’ll personally rain down an unwordly heck upon them myself, those friggin’ idiots. You put your hands in your pockets and *poof* there goes all good discipline and military bearing.”
The petition, which has more than 3,200 signatures, was filed on Nov 14, 2012. The White House has a policy of responding to any petitions that reach a critical mass of 25,000 signatures.