Experts offer tips on helping kids
cope with these traumatic events
By Rick Emert and Marni McEntee, Stars and Stripes
Americans watching round-the-clock television coverage of Tuesday’s attacks have
relived the graphic images over and over.
Parents trying to come to grips with what has happened may not realize that their
children, too, are experiencing the horror — and possibly not fully understanding
what it means. How does a parent help children cope with something so unbelievably
horrific?
Department of Defense Dependents Schools-Europe has helped by creating a packet to
guide teachers through discussions with students. Additionally, schools throughout Europe
were augmented with more counselors and psychologists before the recent events in the
States, said Candace Ransing, chief of the Education Division for DODDS-Europe.
Ransing added that, should the need arise, DODDS-Europe would contract additional
counselors for its schools, but there are no plans to do so at this point.
While teachers and counselors can help, parents will undoubtedly take on the most
active role in helping their children. And, possibly the key step in helping children cope
is to be a good listener.
"It’s important that parents really be aware that they need to listen to
their kids, acknowledge their children’s feelings and understand that they may see a
drastic change in their child’s behavior because of this," Ransing said.
"Let them know that it’s all right to feel the way they do."
Bamberg (German) High School seniors Franky Collazo and Richard Young benefitted from
such talks with their parents.
"It helped to be able to pour out all my feelings to them," Collazo said.
"Knowing how they feel about all of this helped me because it showed me that what
I’m feeling is OK," Young said.
Experts also suggest limiting the intake of television news, especially for elementary
schoolchildren.
"Children who watch too much of this on the news may experience nightmares,"
said Sandra Sacco, school psychologist for Bamberg’s elementary, middle and high
schools. "They may even have problems sleeping because of it."
Parents also should try to keep a sense of normalcy in the home.
"Serve the family meals at the same time you normally serve them, and have the
kids go to bed at their normal time," Sacco said.
Most important, parents must make their children understand that they are safe.
"Tell them that the terrorists weren’t targeting children, they weren’t
targeting little old ladies with gray hair. Tell them that they are safe," said
Louise Kelly, Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counseling Services counselor for Bamberg High
School. Kelly’s office also will be used for additional counseling.
At Ramstein Air Base, Germany, Chaplain (Lt. Col.) Richard Hartwell, 86th Airlift Wing
chaplain, said the chaplains there haven’t talked much with children because no
school was in session, but that he’s aware of their needs.
"These are innocent people who have no involvement in worldwide global
struggles," Hartwell said of the area’s children. "We are a community of
people. We are here for one another and we’re part of a family. Within it are many
resources. We’re here to help one another think through this great tragedy, live
through it, explain it as best we can to our children," he said.
Yet another resource for parents is a packet that DODDS-Europe prepared and sent home
with students Friday.
Some of the tips for parents offered in one of the handouts included:
¶ Model calm and control. Children take their emotional cues from the significant
adults in their lives. Avoid appearing anxious or frightened.
¶ Reassure children that they are safe and so are the other important adults in their
lives.
¶ Remind them that trustworthy people are in charge.
¶ Let children know that it is OK to be upset. Explain that all feelings are OK when a
tragedy like this occurs.
¶ Tell children the truth. Don’t try to pretend the event has not occurred or
that it is not serious.
¶ Know what community resources are available. School psychologists can be helpful in
directing families to the right community resources.
¶ For more information, call the National Association of School Psychologists at (301)
657-0270 or visit NASP’s website at www.nasponline.org.
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